The Stubbornness of a Runner

60 minutes...... 65 minutes...... 70 minutes...... 75 minutes...... 80 minutes.

Those were the amounts of time I had to spend on an elliptical by myself after I suffered my avulsion fracture. They were mind-numbing, completely boring and yet totally engaging. Each day was a dark one, my mind just focused on the eventual clearing from this stupid injury. Sure, the occasional workout on the blasted machine made the process easier, and the refreshing Gatorade following each one made the experience a little better, but it was nothing compared to actually running. Throughout this time I had the ability to sharpen my mindset and be grateful for the little things, like the fact that I could do this activity period. I mean, the injury could've been far worse, I could've been sidelined for the rest of my senior year.

But after all of the mind-numbing workouts, I eventually caught back up with my doctor on a check-up and got every runner's freeing word; "The x-rays look good, you can start to run again as long as there's no pain". The feeling of excitement rushed through me as I could hardly wait to begin to hit the trails again with my teammates.

The first day back was rough as it should be. I felt out of shape and my ankle felt like a dagger was being driven into it but I just stayed calm and hoped it would work itself out, and for the most part it did. When we got back I was met with a furious trainer who had told me 4 miles worth of weight-bearing was a horrible idea. Sure the ankle hurt but with a little ice and a little ibuprofen I was back on my way.

The next day was my first workout back, a small progression run which would determine my availability for the meet the next day. Simply put, I got destroyed. Destroyed by people I used to destroy. But, I finished the last lap as well as I possibly could and after some hand-offs we had to call me off for the meet the following day.

Over the next few days my runs would never exceed 5 miles as my ankle gradually felt better and better as the days progressed. A couple of days ago I ran a workout and split 77's for 400's with relative ease, giving me a promising outlook for our home meet two days later.

My first race back was an interesting one and one to learn from if anything. I felt alright the first lap and then negative thoughts flooded through my head and I felt out of shape. I didn't feel like the guy that had run 4:25 in indoor no, I felt average, something I hate. I'm sure many people coming back from injury would face the same type of struggles, but all I hoped for was to run in the 4:40's.

But I didn't. According to my father, I didn't even break 5:00. Obviously I was upset, but it didn't stop me from screaming at my teammates until I got a headache or doing my cool-down or enjoying the night at hand. It also didn't stop me from waking up at 7:30 the following morning to get my recovery run out of the way. It's something that just has to be done.

We as runners are often bull-headed. We think our way is right, our way is prideful, our way is successful. We think we are invincible often times, that we can come back from a fibula fracture in my case and just return right back to form as if nothing happened, as if you didn't just take four weeks off to heal it. But, life doesn't always go that way. We return to our form through insistent hard work and being patient with the results, knowing they will come. We face setbacks but we shouldn't view them as detriments we should view them as springboards with opportunity to grow and learn.

Last night I was informed that many people in the stands said that I should just call it a season, just sit out the rest of my senior year, that I have college and should just prepare for that.

But no. Not a single ounce of me believes I should do that. As long as I have something to give, I will give it, and all of it. This team and this program has done so much for me and while some people believe I'm done enough for the program as it is, I don't believe that whatsoever. The only way I will feel validated is if I finish off this season with absolutely everything I have and nothing left, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why runners are different.

That's why we're stubborn.

The Stubbornness of a Runner.

- Andrew Ward (@drewdwa)