i believe in defying the odds.

I am a runner. My entire life revolves around running. But last year I reached a point in my life that I did not expect. My life no longer revolved around running, but instead on keeping myself healthy and out of the hospital.

When I first woke up in that hospital bed late last September, I couldn’t remember why I was there. I was confused and lost, but I could hear distant voices saying my name. The memories came back to me slowly, needles being put in my arms, the constant feeling of dizziness. The last thing I could remember were my ears ringing and the world going black. The doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with me. They gave me many different diagnoses, although none of which made any sense. For almost a month I couldn’t walk on my own, and I could barely even form sentences. We finally came in contact with a doctor that understood what was going on, and he told me that I have a condition called dysautonomia, an autoimmune disease that effects all of your organs. I did not go to school for almost 7 weeks, my body could not handle it. Through it all though, I was only worried about one thing: when I could go back to running. The doctors told me I may never be able to run again. They told stories of others like me who can no longer run, but I was determined. 

I believed I could defy the odds. 

I decided I would run no matter what it took. Although cross country season wasn't going to be an option for me, I still wanted to be strong enough for track in the spring. I started small, taking a few steps on my own each day, until I could walk across my room all by myself. I got stronger everyday, and I kept pushing. I remember people saying to me, “You won’t be able to run this season. You can just be a team manager”, but I believed that I could. Days, weeks, months went by and my mindset started to shift. February came, and I was worried I wouldn’t be ready in time for track season. I couldn’t run nearly as long or fast as I used to. I was overtaken by the fear of failure. I kept running but I didn’t believe in myself in the same way. Track season began and I was not sure if I even wanted to run anymore. 

I spent the first couple weeks of track season just going through the motions and not really trying. I specifically remember one practice, after a tough workout I walked off the track, up into the pressbox. I was crying, so frustrated and angry at myself, all because I couldn’t run as fast as I could the year before. It was that day that it finally clicked in me. I am not the same person I was last year. I am completely different in fact, and I shouldn’t expect myself to be capable of the same things. From that day on, I had a different, stronger mindset. Instead of trying to be in the shape I was last year, I focused more on staying healthy and being better than I was in the fall. I came to the realization that I was running 200 meters faster than I could walk across my room a couple months ago. More than anything, I was defying the odds. 

I was told I wouldn’t be able to run anymore, but yet I went on to race in every single track meet. I am not as good as I used to be, but I have learned that I am capable of so much more than I thought. I believe that we can achieve great things and defy the odds in impossible-seeming situations. I believe that we limit our own capabilities because of fear of failure, or because we see no need to push ourselves further. But I also believe that we have the power to change this. We can go outside our comfort zones and do things that we don’t usually do. I believe that we can find the cure to cancer, and achieve world peace. I believe in the impossible. 

I believe that the situations we are put into shape us into the people we are. We can either choose to go along with life, letting it tear us every which way, or we can fight back. We can defy the odds. We have the choice to change. Sometimes it takes a major turn of events to make us realize just how lucky we are to be living this life. Once we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is up to us to find a way to reach that light. We just have to take that first step. Do not give up. Believe in yourself and you can defy the odds.

- Morgan Williams (@morgann_ww)