To the team that didn't want me.

To the team that didn't want me,

I am not the fastest. I am not the best leader. I am not the biggest partier.I am not the best athlete. And I am not girl you want on your team. But then again I never claim to be. I claimed to be me. the girl who went from being last on the team to running top 10 every meet. I am the girl who didn't know what a pace, or consistency was but now can click off miles just like the rest. But I guess that isn't who you want there.

My team is very cliquey. You have the top girl. Then you have the next fastest; who is followed closely by the next three fastest girls. Our top five is set before we even toe the line most meets.

Therefore, the real race is for who is going to be 6 and 7 on the team. That is where we have about 5 girls capable of these positions. Then we have the last half of the team who are there because they love running. They want to be fit and they do not know what life would be like if they stopped. That seems like a good problem to have right? Top 5 consistently good with the next 5 not far behind followed by girls who just love to be there? Wrong.

To the top runner and back half, I know you work so hard That you all try you hardest. But the top runner you are too far ahead to see what is going on behind because you are so focused on performing well. To the back half. I see you!! Putting in the miles, the workouts and the effort. But you sit here and say that it doesn't matter and that the top girls are just try hards.. do you see that is part of the problem?

Now to our 2-5 runners. This is really about you. You count so many of us out because we are not "good enough". That the team has "gone downhill". You say how you are trying to pull the people who can be great up to the top with you but you ignore the runners right there next to you. You picked your favorites three and you want them. 

But what about us other two? The two who have consistently ran good races, been at workouts, pouring our hearts into each workout-race-run, and have been running right beside you the entire time. You look at us and say that so and so should be up there. That so and so are really the team. That hurts. Not only our feelings but our mentality. If you do not want us up there, why would we want to be up there?

So I am sorry that I am not the runner you want on your team. I am sorry that I do not live up to your standards. I am sorry that I am wasting your time with the efforts to build a good team culture. I am sorry my best isn't good enough. 

But mostly I am sorry for you. I am sorry that you are so blinded that you do not see what you are doing to this team. That you do not see that you are tearing this team down more than building it up.I am sorry you do not see that you are pushing away the other girl. The talent that will grow and flourish if the team allowed her too. She will accomplish great things if you let her.

On the other spike, thank you. Thank you for showing me that I can achieve my own greatness without the support of the team. Thank you for showing me that I can do it. I can run the hard workouts, paces, races and come out fighting. Thank you for showing me how strong I am. Mentally and physically. Thank you for teaching me that I can do it.

So to the team that didn't want me. I forgive you. But I cannot wait to no longer call you my team.

Some of you are the nicest girls around, but you all do not get it. This team is not a team. It is a group of individual runners running their own races. The moment you start being a team is the moment you start being amazing. So a word of advice from me, a girl who has been on a team and a "team".

Don't act like it doesn't matter.

Always try.

Find the time to bond on the course, track or outside of it all. 

Encourage everyone. The girl who runs with you on workouts, and runs may drop back because she feels that she doesn't belong.

And most importantly... know that anyone can achieve greatness on any given race, but the way you treat them during practice will affect them come race day. The girl who you said was a try hard might crack. 

Peace out team!

- Anonymous