Taking her place.
Starting high school is rough for anyone. Meeting new people, taking new classes, dealing with teachers, and so much more. Being on the cross team was a reprieve from all that drama for me. It was a place where I had friends—well, family I guess. You know how it is-the team dinners, the practices, the chocolate milk, the random places only the cross kids can find. I found a home on my team. Running was and is my life.
Being fast as a freshman can create a bit of tension, though. The first month or so, I was content to watch the varsity girls, observing and learning everything I could from a distance; their hard work and dedication was hard to miss. But as the season went on, I wasn’t just watching them anymore. I was racing alongside them and then suddenly, I was beating them. I became the seventh runner on my team at the Christian Schools invite, the race before the legendary Michigan State invite. I crossed the finish line at Christian Schools knowing I had just secured my spot to race at Michigan State University, and I was so, so, so excited for this incredible chance to run at a meet with all the top schools in Michigan. I crossed the line and turned around and saw behind me the teammate I had passed. She crossed the line and I realized what I had just done. I had taken away her spot, stole her chance to race at MSU. I panicked and said something to her about how I hoped our coach would still take her-she was more experienced after all. The next day at school, the rumors started floating that I had been rude to her. I still don’t know exactly what happened, but I know that something got misinterpreted. It hurt to know that I had hurt the team, created a split where there wasn’t one before. I debated about talking to our coach, telling him I was less experienced and shouldn’t go. I knew he wouldn’t take my excuses though. I was fast and had earned my spot, even if it meant kicking another girl off.
But as time went on, we rebuilt our bonds. We became friends again, and were closer than before. Our varsity runners switched out from week to week, and it was okay. Sometimes I led JV, but most of the time I was running sixth, fifth and once even fourth on the varsity team. But the season was drawing to a close, and state was coming up. Again, I was chosen to run varsity, and again, I took a girl off the top seven. But this time, we knew how to handle it. We could do it, because it had been done before. That race at MSU made me feel so guilty, like me being fast was a mistake. But it got better, so when state came around, we accepted what happened. We stayed strong together, knowing we could trust our teammates. A win for one was a win for all, and a loss for one was a loss for all.
So know this: when there’s conflict on the team, trust yourself. Trust your coach, and most importantly, trust your teammates. It might not be easy in the moment, but at some point, you’re going to fix those friendships. That’s what’s special about cross-it’s a family. Families don’t give up on each other, so neither will your team.
- Catherine Kortman
