Running Through Loss

Last Saturday, I lost my best friend/grandpa to cancer. He wasn't just my grandpa, he raised me like his own. I spent last Sunday crying while surrounded by text, Instagram comments and Facebook messages that apologized for my loss. On Monday I forced myself to go to school because school was the only thing in my life that hadn't suddenly changed. I barely listened in any class. On Tuesday I ran my first race in Cross Country since I lost him. I ran a decent race, but I collapsed across the finish as I cried and screamed for my papaw.

I spent Wednesday and Thursday sleeping through classes, running at practice and crying at home. On Friday I was surrounded by friends and family at the funeral of the most important man in my life. Yesterday was Saturday. Yesterday marked one week without my papaw. Yesterday, I set a personal record time at a cross country meet. I went from 3rd on my team to 2nd on my team. As I ran, I found the unbelievable strength that allowed me to push all pain aside and continue to run. I felt he was with me. After this race, I still collapsed at the finish but this time it was because my legs were weak and my head was light. As my teammates and coaches held me up, I smiled. I smiled because I knew that my Papaw was smiling down on me. I knew that my Papaw was proud of what I had done on that day. I did it all for him, he had lived in pain for a year, I knew I could run with the temporary pain in my legs, And I did. I did it all for you papaw, I hope you're proud.

- AJ H