The Struggle to Surpass Mediocrity

All runners start off the same: we progressively get better from the start. This makes sense, evolving from a non-runner to runner. Then we reach a point where those 30 second 5k PRs go away. It’s like we plateau and some of us overcome that through time, summer running, etc. and steadily improve while some do not. Essentially, when you start running everyone is equal with no experience. Once training starts, it separates the “18 minute 5kers” from the “20 minute 5kers,” etc. 

I decided to start running my junior year of high school. The first 5k I ever ran I crosssd the line in 27:42, having no idea what I had actually just did. For some their first 5k may have been 21 minutes ,19 minutes, or even less. For me, having never run cross country before, I had no expectations I just did my best. Immediately, I began to cut minutes and minutes off my time eventually getting down to around 21:50 by the end of the season. Personally, I was estatic almost a 5 minute PR in months and similarly with the mile. 30 second PR. I felt as if I was on track to be one of the best on the team. After a successful first season I set huge goals for my senior year.

I remember writing down my goals at a summer running camp (Stowe Running Camp)
1. Break 20 in the 5k
2. Become team captain
3. Compete at states

That summer I ran almost 500 miles. I did my runs faster, longer, just wanting to be one of the best. My entire summer was dedicated to running. Before I knew it I was toeing the line, my last first race, I knew all the work I put in. I just had to “trust the process.” That season I faced disappointments after disappointments. Starting off the season I ran 21:59 and progressively got worse. How was this possible? Was I burnt out? Was I iron deficient? What was I doing wrong? Why are people who run way less than me better? Every question possible flooded my mind I felt like a failure. Forever those goals will embedded in my mind because I had only met one of them #2. 

As we progressed to the end of the season, I was the 8th runner, cut short once again. At this point why would anything go right for me my senior year? I stood at the line hating myself wondering what more I could’ve done, I ran as much as I could, I did all the workouts, and ate fairly healthy. It was my worst nightmare. Being the best of the worst. Being 1 off. Maybe if I had run more run less? I will never know what I could’ve done better. Similarly this same series of events happened and track and evidently I gave up. The worst decision of my life, giving up. 

I gave up. I had dedicated everything to running and failed 1 year so I gave up. Runners aren’t made overnight and not everyone is born being able to run “sub 20.” I still struggle comparing myself to others, but it’s life. Someone’s worst may be your best and for the case of my current college team that is the case for me. Some of the best people, if they ever ran near my best, they’d be disappointed. 

I am not going to let this stop me in the future. I can’t waste my time dwelling on the past or wondering why I wasn’t genetically blessed being the best runner on the planet. I need to accept my current fate of mediocrity physically and overcome that mentally and I feel as if I will start seeing results.

I have new goals. My first goals are not time goals, but mental goals of not hating myself when I don’t succeed and doing everything in my power to get better without overdoing it. For me it has worked so far I have run 20:45 in the 5k which for me is over a minute improvement from senior year. Am I still where I want to be? Absolutely not and will I ever be? Never. 

This is it, it’s my time to shine, to mentally and physically be my best because these are the fastest years of my life and I’m not going to let failures stop me from doing what I love.

- Ashley Figucia ( @Ashleyfigucia )