Adjusting my Expectations to the Circumstances.
I had always been fast, in elementary school no one wanted me chasing them in tag or racing them in our PE classes. My speed had just been something I used to benefit me in club soccer and basketball. It wasn't until i hit middle school that I realized I liked our conditioning workouts and chasing the ball, better than soccer itself. This was when I began to fall for running. By the time eighth grade came around I completely dropped soccer, and now my heart was set on running.
Running made me feel more alive than I had ever felt. That fall, I did cross country for the first time. I ended up winning the USATF regional meet and then getting fourth at nationals. This was it. I had found my passion, and my purpose. I was on an all time runners high, thinking it would always be this way. I worked extremely hard that winter, maybe a little too hard. Spring came around, and every time I stepped on the track I got faster. Every meet I raced was a PR, and a more times than not, a win. I won state in the 1500 and 800 in 4:30 and 2:14. I was on top of the world. I looked at the high school girls, thinking I would keep getting faster, and be untouchable at least in the area.
Oh, how naive I was. Here I sit, almost three years later, and there are so many things I would love to go back and tell 8th grade Maddy. My freshman year was solid, and I got third at the state meet in the 1500. This still would not have satisfied the girl I was the year before. I had set a good base for the rest of high school. Today I am a junior, with a torn plantar fascia, feeling more like a swimmer or a biker than a runner. A few weeks ago I watched the state meet from the stands, knowing I should be out there. Six months ago, I was also in a boot watching the state track meet, due to a stress fracture.
Six months before that, I missed state and districts while I had walking pneumonia. The past year has been full of setbacks. I have come back from each one and managed to sprinkle in a couple PR's here and there, mixed with some great races. Yet every season, all of my hard work is thrown away right before it all matters. It doesn't matter where your ranked in September, it matters in November. This is just the kind of sport running is. There is no mercy here. You cannot feel bad for yourself. Every injury has a cause, and something to learn from. I have learned more about myself, and life in the past year than I have in school, my entire life. The moments I have shared with my teammates and the opportunities I have been given, regardless of the setbacks, are unlike anything I have ever experienced. Eighth grade me did not understand how the trajectory of running is so bumpy and not always smooth sailing. Running is so more than a place in a race or a time on athletic.net. I have had to adjust my expectations to the circumstances that have happened. Running has broken my heart so many times, but yet I will always come back to it. No matter how many more setbacks I have, this is what I want to do for as long as I can. So Junior track season, I am hungrier than ever.
- Maddy Elmore (@maddyelmore)
